Creativity is a Bitch

So, here I am, week two of blogging. I don’t necessarily have a “timeline” of how much I will blog/ when I will blog. At the moment once a week seems good enough and we’ll see from there.

Time to lay down some truth here, I’m going to talk about creativity. Ugh, I know, you were possibly expecting something more profound out of my second blog post but here it is. Creativity is hard. It may not be hard for everyone, but I also think that if you don’t think creativity is hard you might be lying to yourself just a little bit.

Here’s the thing that I don’t think they tell you in school/ university/ college ( or mine didn’t anyway ) being creative in itself is a job. Getting out there, wherever “there” might be for you and doing your creative thing whatever it is for you, acting, writing, music, dancing, is possibly the hardest thing you will have to do. Getting a job that will help you pay your bills and live your life can be easy, note I say *CAN BE* it isn’t always and you’re talking to a girl right now who is deep in the struggle of having a lot of debt, and currently only one job.

I will briefly paint you a picture if you don’t get where I’m coming from. You have just had to work for 8 or 9 hours, you got up at six am to get to your job that starts at 8 am you get home at let’s say 6 pm. You are tired, you are hungry, all you want to do is sleep, not cook (skip the dishes is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has happened to me in my life) and possibly binge watch something on Netflix. ( For me right now that’s himym)

But OH WAIT you have this other thing that you have to do, your “passion” your creative outlet, is sitting there, in a corner, waiting for you to come home so you can do the things that you said you would do when you got home. You have an audition, a deadline, something that is coming up in the next two days and you have to work at that. You have to work at that when all your brain wants to do is shut off and mindlessly watch HIMYM for a few hours until you realize that you’re the Robin Scherbatsky of your friend group and your life might possibly be going nowhere but at least you have your career, or you would if you got off the couch and actively tried to do your career.

It’s really like having two jobs, you have the job that you have to pay the bills, and rent, and make sure you’re properly fed ( or if you’re like me I consider the vegetables on my pizza as checking off that I’ve had vegetables that day ) and when you get home you have your other creative job that you also have to do because the creative job is what keeps you going and let’s you do your other job. TBH lots of the time this sucks. Lots of the time I do not want to do the creative thing that is my passion and fuels my soul. I can also not count the amount of times I’ve had to say no to going out when I’ve had some sort of deadline that I know I have to do ( my friends can attest to this ) my artistic friends for the most part understand, because we are all in the same boat. My other friends have taken a while to understand that I can’t always drop everything to go to Cousins ( it’s a local pub- ish place here in Winnipeg, MB) because I have an audition that I need to prep for.

Currently, I do not get paid for my “other” job which is not to say that it does not require me to spend money. Getting headshots printed can be expensive, transportation to get to said audition when you don’t have a car, expensive. I came across a saying, if not somewhat a cheesy saying a while ago that I like and think applies in this situation, or at least to my life. It said: the dream is free, the hustle is sold separately.Which is definitely true.

So right now, I am writing this and don’t work until Wednesday. I am sitting in my pj’s at 3 pm and drinking coffee and some people may be like oh you’re living the dream live it up until Wednesday it’s labor day weekend and you’re doing you! But the dream of me being an actor who matters is free, I’ve always wanted that. The hustle as I’m told is separate. I have an audition on Wednesday before work, so I’m going to go prep for that after I’m done writing this blog post. Creativity is a bitch, but hey it’s my bitch.

Here’s one of my fave Robin moments from HIMYM also she’s Canadian which is also why she’s my fave.


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