This is going to be a late night post all. Which may mean that it might not be as long, because I’m that more tired. A little something different tonight, this week I’m turning a new 20- something, and no you don’t get to know what that new 20-something is so sorry about that.
So my birthday obviously means that another year has passed. I have this crazy theory that my even birthdays ( the years when I’m an even number) are not as good as my odd birthdays ( the years when I’m an odd number ) this past year was an even number ( there now you can try and figure it out there’s not that many numbers ) and it was hard. It sucked. I got depressed, I’m still battling with it, and for the past few months everything has made me cry.
Why? The future. Ugh. Who cares right? I shouldn’t. Nobody else seems to. Everybody else seems to be fine living their lives and doing their things and I’m over here being the sad wallflower. When I was younger I had a certain idea of what my life would be like when I got older ( cause who doesn’t? ) and let’s say that plan has not worked. In fact if my life plan was to get from A to Z my life started at Q and is now somewhere around F and G, just chilling. So more or less career wise, love life wise, money wise ( you know the one we’re not supposed to care about because money can’t make you that happy right..? WRONG ) my life isn’t where I wanted it to be. It’s not a Carrie Bradshaw situation, where she has fabulous clothes, hot men and can somehow afford that apartment… no seriously HOW.
But, I’ve been getting some much needed perspective lately. From some close friends, from family who remind me that my life path is different, and it’s ok that it is. The fact that I’m not married and don’t have children yet is ok because honestly that idea scares me a lot right now. I’m doing me. It’s scary a.f. a lot of the time and I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m crying less these days but I mean I’m human, I still cry.
For someone who has never really been into/ believed in astrology I’ve actually been looking at mine a lot lately. Possibly for guidance, possibly to tell me my future, possibly for something positive. Something I read recently about a Virgo ( my sign ) that I liked a lot recently was from my fave NYLON magazine.
Here are the cliff notes:
Mantra: I analyze ( oh boy do I ever )
Colours: Golden Yellow, Mustard ( Mustard yellow is my fave colour and I own so much of it, it’s like a wheat field threw up in my closet )
Positive Traits: Intelligent, Gentle, Observant ( I feel like being observant is good when you’re an actor… yes? )
Taller than Average- I’m 5’9.
And this last part is something I resonated with :
Even though Virgo is prone to discomfort when change is afoot, as a mutable sign these personalities are not necessarily stubborn, but rather the chameleons of the zodiac who have the know-how and grit to go with the flow and make the best out of whatever situation they find themselves in.
I do note-ably hate change, as anyone will tell you. And I’m stubborn A.F. But just learning how to go with the flow and make the best out of any situation, is something that I have to learn to do, and adapt to, or so my zodiac sign says. This is me trying to embrace change, embrace my new 20 something, and celebrate god damn it. Also because a small part of me still wants to be Carrie in SATC and be fancy I decided to celebrate with a fancy birthday brunch I’m having next weekend, because I wanted to dress up, go for brunch and drink mimosas and be fabulous. My friends were totally on board, and I love them for it.
That’s all for tonight, this song is lately my jam and I heard it today and it got me in a great mood for my birthday, for today, for everyday and because I love Ingrid Michaelson with all my heart.
Also she says you do you and I’ll do me in this song and I mean MANTRA