You don’t got it

“You don’t got it.” This is seriously the worst ( or one of the worst ) moments in Gilmore Girls for me. Yes, I apologize that I may reference #gg again in my blog but it will be brief.

This moment, if you are unfamiliar with Gilmore Girls is when everything goes to hell in a handbasket for Rory *spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched all of gilmore girls yet *

It’s the moment where Mitchum Huntzberger tells Rory that he thinks that she doesn’t have what it takes to be a journalist. Whatever “it” is, she doesn’t have the drive or ambition or whatever.  And it totally crushes her. And then she steals a yacht with Logan    (which I mean Jess would never let her do, sorry still #teamjess) and drops out of Yale and her perfectionist image is ruined for all of season six.

Rory is a very perseverant person. She has been all throughout the series up until this moment where she cracks more or less under the pressure of criticism. This is where Rory and I are so similar it’s scary.

I have always been told that I’m a very perseverant person. Just like Rory. Nine times out of ten I don’t really believe it, but then I have to look at my track record and I have to agree.

When Rory stole a yacht she was acting out against the criticism she didn’t want to hear and didn’t know how to cope with it properly. But I mean I can’t say I blame her, all she’s ever wanted to be is a journalist. She has persevered for that goal since the beginning. Since the end of high school I think all I’ve ever wanted to do is be an actor. There was a brief stint in elementary school where I wanted to be a veterinarian but as soon as I found out that you had to be good at science I was out.

This is why in my third-ish year of university after I auditioned for an acting program that I didn’t get into I was crushed. Oh I was beyond crushed. I had persevered so hard for this and it was all that I knew. People that I respected and considered important people had said that whatever “it” was I probably didn’t have it. I probably wasn’t going to make it. I believe the next year in school was incredibly hard because I didn’t know what to do anymore. I retreated, I didn’t take any acting courses to better myself that year and I avoided the theatre building like the plague. The fact that this happened umpteen years ago and I still think about it sometimes I think outlines how devastated I was. But, I was unadventurous and did not steal a yacht, or do anything stupid. But I did stop acting. Just like Rory stopped being a journalist for most of season six.

I took another program a few years after university that I did get into and it was great. I wanted to build up my resume to get to the point where I could get into the program, and I think I did that. I’ve had people tell me that they admire my drive, my ambition and that they could never do what I do. For me there’s not an option of not doing it. All of the Mitchum Huntzberger’s in the world could tell me that I suck and I think I’d walk out of the office to go and try and prove him wrong.

I have moments of course where I lack confidence, where I think I suck. But I think every actor has that. I did a fringe show about a year ago ( by that I mean I acted and produced one) which I never thought I’d be able to do, but nobody told me that I couldn’t do it. It didn’t even cross my mind that I couldn’t do it, it was something that had to be done.

For myself I always want to try and improve, and do better and have a plan. Sometimes my plan doesn’t work, but I think failing is a part of persevering so much. I’ve failed so many times I can’t count but I think it’s the stupid ambitious gene in myself that tells me to keep going. That’s what Rory eventually did and look where it got her- on the Obama campaign trail ( I know you’re so tired of my #gg references sorry ) at the end of season seven.

Sometimes I’m so one tracked it’s probably not good for me. Sometimes I need more balance. And sometimes I need a break from acting. Right now I’m taking a course because I want to apply for a program and I think this course will help in that way. Because my one track always wants to have a plan. My one track Rory Gilmore mind is perseverant a.f. and I like it that way.

A Rory meme I found that I liked-


And a link to the trailer we did for our show Clink in #wpgfringe 2015 –


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