That Dating Life Tho

Soo… I bet you thought I wasn’t coming back. Sure she talks a big game but oh look it’s tuesday and still no blog post?! Well I owe you my bloggers, and I’m trying to blog at “regular” times to get more impact. Like who’s going to read my blog when I want to write it at 12 am… probably no one.

In the interest of keeping it real, which someone complimented me on my blog and telling me to keep it so real ( thank you by the way !) I’ll get real about something I haven’t talked about yet.

Dating. Oh yes. Oh no. Oh god. All of those things and more.

Spring is so in the air in winnipeg ( well sometimes, it ranges between +16 and like -2 which is spring enough for us ) and what abounds more during spring than couples? Literally nothing else I know of. I saw what I called a coffee shop couple in one of my fave coffee shops the other day being super flirty and into each other and honestly… I wanted to throw myself off a bridge. I know, you’re thinking oh she’s so bitter! She doesn’t have respect for love or relationships or anything! Which I think any of my friends would tell you that that would not be the case. I have a fair amount of friends that are married and I love each and every one of them dearly.

Dating is work. If anyone tells you it is not work they have not been on a date in the last 5 years. I wish for the simpler times of dating, like when I was in highschool ( not that I dated anyone in highschool )  when cell phones were just being introduced, we didn’t have twitter, facebook or snapchat and people just called people. I specifically remember three way calling my friends to talk about setting up my friends on dates ( yeah that dates me oh well… ) But if you want to date now? If you want to get on that dating train? You better jump on board with technology and online dating or you might as well stay home.

I’ve always overanalyzed things. Dating has made that worse. Texts to send or not to send, instagram pictures that you do or don’t like, the dreaded dot dot dot while you wait for someone else to type something ( we’ve all been there c’mon). Also do not get me started on new dating terms that seem to pop up all the time that everyone knows and I have to find out through googling things on urban dictionary. I will say that fuckboi has become a regular word in my vocabulary and I recently discovered a new term called cushioning which urban dictionary defines as :


A dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several ‘cushions’, other people you’ll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.
Yeah, I don’t think it’s going that well with Dave. Luckily I’ve been cushioning him with Pablo and Gary
I was appalled there was actually a term for that. And then found it so relevant, like raise your hand if that’s ever happened to you ( you don’t have to tell anyone I’m not here to judge you because it’s definitely happened to me ) All of this means I feel like I can barely keep up with dating, or dating trends.
My favourite story I like to tell people is that I got peer-pressured into joining tinder. I was super anti- online dating but I was out with people and they were for lack of a better term “group tindering”. Which means they were all on their phones, all being on tinder, showing each other pictures and choosing to swipe left or right. I know, kind of awful right? But damn if I didn’t feel left out and FOMO so at the bar that night I joined tinder. And have been on and off it since then. The longer I had it I would just go on it when I was bored or feeling aimless. For fun one time I thought it would be great to have entire conversations with guys where I would just use she’s the man quotes in the conversation. It was highly entertaining.
I think that dating can be fun. It’s supposed to be right? Once upon a time when I was reading teen girl magazines they sounded like the best thing ever. Lately I just find it to be exhausting and really think that I’ve gotten TOO GOOD at being single and being by myself. Having to think about another person in all of my decisions sounds like work that I’m probably not ready for yet. My tour of going on tinder dates has mostly just resulted in me avoiding people when I go out because Winnipeg is that small that people you tried to date are literally at all the cool events you want to go to. In an ideal world we would all probably choose to meet someone IRL right? Unfortunately as much as we may want them back the 90’s are something that happened two decades ago.
My one good dating experiment was about 2 years back I went on a date with someone who has actually become one of my good friends and now we lament to each other often about how horrible dating is. See? You can meet good fun people in the experiment of dating.
I had someone recently tell me that maybe I’ll meet people if I move for school. To which I said yeah, maybe. TBH I’m often so focused on other things in my life that dating never feels like a priority. So yeah that couple maybe made me want to jump off a bridge but it was the first couple I saw in this spring season so I’m just easing myself back into seeing it on a regular basis.
Some things I’ll leave with you first of all as a lover of the 90’s I rewatched Empire Records recently and that movie is everything twice. Here is a great empowering female moment from Robin Tunney ( who I love ) and plays Debra in Empire Records in which she shaves her head.  Now maybe Debra did it because she went through a bad breakup or something but I also think she just did it for herself, because she wanted to. Also it’s so mesmerizing to watch and feels full of strength and I love that she doesn’t talk at all during it:
Also here is JT’s Can’t Stop the Feeling which I feel is just like a feel good spring song whether you’re in a relationship or not :

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